Movie Review: Video Gametohorror Flick 'Five Nights At Freddys' Misfires Badly
Just in time for Halloween comes Five Nights at Freddy's, an adaptation of the video game that pits animatronic creatures like Chick E. Cheese. But we have the focus.
In a film based on developer Scott Cawthon's video game about human-killing anthropomorphic robots, the vehicle isn't given its due, and the problems start with the creatures themselves.
Yes, they have very bright eyes and teeth. But come on, someone wears a tie like a guest on PBS. They are more gentle than scary. Yes, they walk around like Terminators, but one of them is a big chicken with the slogan "Eat us". They look as scary as wary bears who have had too much to drink. One of them, we don't blame you, is a cupcake.
Stuck between PG and R and unintentionally lost at the intersection of comedy and horror, PG-13 Five Nights at Freddy's has to be considered one of the poorest films of any genre this year.
As in the video game, our hero here is a night watchman secretly hired to guard the ruins of an abandoned pizzeria and children's playhouse. We heard it was closed in the 80s because of the number of missing children.
Josh Hutcherson plays the security guard with both anger and compassion. "Just do your job and you'll be fine," he advised. "Do not disturb this place."
Why did you get this ridiculous job? Protecting his little sister Abby (the excellent Piper Rubio) proves he's a good guy. Other cast members include Mary Stewart Masterson, who looks like an aunt, and Matthew Lillard, who chews the scene like a pepper.
Director Emma Tammy, using a screenplay credited to her, Cawthon and Seth Cuddeback, does her best to fill the film with stories and reasons for the killer characters. So family betrayal, lifelong suffering of abducted brother, possible love and a shocking plot had to be seen in Pila.
Towards the end, when our hero cries out, “I was wrong. I didn't mean it,” we note that the people who pay the viewers are in complete agreement.
So many questions await you. Why was "sleep talk" so widely used by the Romantics? Why do writers not understand the depravity of man? Why does the conversation often suddenly change from flirting to anger? Why can the Maniac Care Bears speak in the last 10 minutes?
It's funny that the most interesting things happen in the dream state. If this happens, you may need to touch your table neighbor to get up and join the scene. Maybe that's why "talking in a dream" is so important?
The filmmakers make a rare horror movie effort to make the ball scary for kids, but the lowest point is when the murderous animatronics - Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie, Chico and Foxy - throw a dance party for the kids. They can't seem to get over their innate nature from Jim Henson's creature shop. All this should still be a game.
Universal Pictures' Five Nights at Freddy's, which opens in theaters Friday, and The Peacock are rated PG-13 for "violent content, gory imagery and language." Duration: 110 minutes. Zero stars out of four.
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MPAA Rating PG-13: Parents be warned. Some content may not be suitable for children under 13 years of age.
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Online: https://www.fivenightsatfreddys.movie
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Mark Kennedy is at http://twitter.com/KennedyTwits.
