Mucking With Movies: 2023 In Review
I usually start a column with bulls, but I thought it made sense to include the year-end list at the top. For my best and worst ratings, I stick to my initial critical ratings so as not to fall into crazy content.
Best movies of 2023
5. "Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse" directed by Joaquin dos Santos, Kemp Powers and Justin Thompson, starring Shameek Moore, Hailee Steinfeld and Brian Tyree Henry. His score would have been higher if he had not been forced to prepare these three items again. Score 8.8/10.
4. "Thanksgiving" directed by Eli Roth, starring Nell Verlak, Gabriel Davenport and Patrick Dempsey. In my original review, I said that "Thanksgiving" was up there with "Barbarian" as the best horror film of the 2000s, and I still stand by it. Roth took a trailer joke between Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's "Planet Terror" and the "Deathproof" double feature "Grindhouse" and turned it into a sick masterpiece. Rating 9.0/10
3. "Barbie" directed by Greta Gerwig, with Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling and America Ferrera. In my top 5, this is a movie I will probably watch again soon. It's funny, heartbreaking, and a must-see in this year's movie lineup Score 9.2/10.
2. "Killer of the Flower Moon" directed by Martin Scorsese with Robert DeNiro, Leonardo DiCaprio and Lily Gladstone. The best film since Scorsese's "Taxi Driver," its direction trumps DiCaprio and DeNiro's underwhelming performances. Score 9.2/10.
1. "Oppenheimer" starring Christopher Nolan, Cillian Murphy, Emily Blunt, Robert Downey Jr. and Florence Pugh. A Monster Mortally Wounded is not only the best movie of the year, it also has one of the best scenes of the year, when a bomb explodes in the desert where we are forced to confront the love of destroying people. Score 9.3/10.
Worst movie of 2023
5. "Maestro" directed by Bradley Cooper, starring Bradley Cooper, Carey Mulligan and Maya Hawke. The worst kind of movie. We're trying to sway the wrong kind of people with "interesting" opinions about "good" stories that "need to be told." Eight members of Congress, three private jet environmental activists, four critics and six Fortune 500 CEOs, who alternate between neoconservatives and neoliberals depending on the category, attended a fundraising dinner in New York for people struggling for power and economic success. An artist and a bored art guy and two 500 level professors. These critics have no critical thinking; These can be found in any trendy magazine. Your friends will turn it off after ten minutes because it's boring. Rating 4.5/10.
4. "Gran Turismo" directed by Neill Blomkamp, with Archie Madekwe, Orlando Bloom and David Harbour. Can I find a good movie about video games? A "Super Mario Bros. Movie" counts as half. At least we'll have "The Last of Us" and "Fallout" on TV. Rating 4.2/10.
3. "Expend4bles" directed by Scott Waugh, starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren and Megan Fox. Not the worst movie, but definitely the worst movie of the year. It is impossible to beat 4th place in the title race with a false A position. Score 4.1/10.
2. "Priscilla" directed by Sofia Coppola, starring Cali Spani and Jacob Elordi. My lungs were full of black tar to laugh at this movie with all my might. Rating 3.9/10
1. "A Haunting in Venice" directed by Kenneth Branagh, starring Kenneth Branagh and Tina Fey. It's as bad as your Instagram photo taken in a gondola on a Venice canal Score 3.8/10
Personal preferences are listed in no particular order and at the top of the list:
"What Happens Next" directed by Meg Ryan, starring Meg Ryan and David Duchovny. Ryan somehow manages to make a feature film that remains interesting, even though it only uses two characters on screen in the same place. I could own this movie. Rating 7.5/10.
"Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning, Park One" directed by Christopher McQuarrie with Tom Cruise. Because I saw it again with the kids I coached. Critical rating 6.7/10, Douze rating 9.3/10.
"Blackberry" directed by Matt Johnston, starring Glenn Howerton and Jay Baruchel. Fun fact: I got this job by emailing a review of this movie to the Aspen Times. I'm still pretty proud of it and while I'd like to release it someday, "BlackBerry" isn't 0.1 in my top 5. Disadvantage: Rate it, remove a rating Score 8.7/10
"Dumb Money" directed by Craig Gillespie, starring Paul Dano, Gabe Plotkin, Sebastian Stan, Nick Offerman. I will enjoy the newfound joy of squeezing the skulls of Ken Griffin, Baiju Bhatt, and Vlad Tenev until I feel like my brain is slipping up my nose. Gabe Plotkin actually gets a pass to take a hit. Score 8.8/10.
"The Iron Claw" is directed by Sean Durbin, starring Zac Efron, Jeremy Allen White, Harrison Dickinson and Stanley Simmons. Professional wrestling is taken seriously. How great! Efron should also benefit from his reincarnation as Matthew McChanaughey. Score 8.6/10.
I started writing this column in late spring and took it upon myself. I wanted to do it because I love cinema and do respectable work. It's been seven months, and in that time Mucking With Movies has gone from twice a month to once a week, and five hundred words, as many words as I wanted to write. It is very beautiful.
Also, in my other professional life, I took a leadership position for the first time, I took my first trip outside the continent, I stopped smoking weed, I quit smoking, I cried a lot over small things, I worked hard to try to succeed. do My family forgave me for ignoring them, throwing my cane from twenty-five yards, making the most of it, and falling in love with art in a new way.
Frankly, what movies present to us is not that important.
As for me, my editor has become more confident, going to the theater is now part of my routine, I interview Chavo Guerrero (whom I've watched wrestle on Smackdown since I was a kid), and I have occasional friends. People I don't talk to soon message me to tell me they like what I write. Fortunately, this art is for birds.
But the money I am looking for here is the most important thing.
Jack Simon is a mogul coach and writer/director who loves to eat out, travel beyond his budget, and make art about skiing, food, and travel when he doesn't have the money. To view Jack's line of jitney rides visit his website jacksimonmakes.com. If you have any questions, you can email him at jackdocsimon@gmail.com.
